You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize