I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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