There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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