dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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