We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
