Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
