Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
