STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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