Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
