Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
