Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
