I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
