Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
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