smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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