Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
