You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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