you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
