ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
