wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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