so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Randomize
