nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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