i used baking grease as lip gloss
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
