No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
