): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
