She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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