dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
