my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
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I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
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my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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