Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
