So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
