at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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