i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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