Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
