Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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