Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
