bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Randomize