This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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