Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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