Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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