fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
