Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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