We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
