I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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