We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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