i need an iv and a liver transplant
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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