I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
