i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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