I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
