we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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