I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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