What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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