well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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