Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
