my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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