Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Just high enough for therapy.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
