what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I see more hoeing in ur future
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