i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
