Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
