I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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