Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
