omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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