You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I fill condoms, not promises.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Someone signed my nipple.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
