OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
