Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
