I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
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My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
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I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I could fuck to npr.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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