I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
