you would pick up someone in the library
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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