Christians are straight up FREAKS
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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