Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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